Unanswered Prayers

I once had an experience I will never forget. I was young, maybe between the ages of 10-13; perhaps younger. We lived on this big hill (no exaggeration) on the outskirts of Ammon and no one's parents ever wanted to come and pick me up when we wanted to play. That usually left me either, a) staying at home or b) riding my bike. Since I was deathly afraid of the hill I would usually just end up staying at home.

One afternoon Breanne Meyers invited me over to play. It was one of the first times that we were going to "hang" together and I was really excited. So excited, in fact, to me it was worth facing the hill. I called my mom at work and let her know I was going. She said she was glad that I was going and told me to make sure to say a prayer before I left. I took her advice and knelt to pray before setting off. In my prayer I asked for safety. I wanted to make sure I arrived at Breanne's without any accidents.

I climbed on my bike and set off.

I road down the hill with ease. Keep in mind I was riding my brakes the whole time but I was doing it. I was so excited when I got to the bottom of the hill (a few feet away from the stop sign) that I did a dance move with my hands without even thinking. I then got so excited that I road my bike without any hands for the first time that I did it again; this time for longer. It didn't work, though. I lost control of my bike. The front wheel was jolting back and forth and I couldn't grab onto the handle bars to hit the brakes. The stop sign was getting closer and closer and my only choice was to lean into the turn and brace for impact. I hit the ground and skid. I remember my head hitting the ground. I remember seeing a white truck. I remember being inside the truck and the man asking me my name, address, and phone number. I don't know if I ever answered correctly. I remember waking up a few times every now and then on my couch in my living room. My mom was there.

When I finally came too I was pretty sore. My left hip and right shoulder were pretty bloody. I had a really bad headache. My mom let me know that Brother Anderson, our neighbor and close friend, drove by just as I had fallen on my bike. He recognized me instantly and scooped me up, put me in his truck, loaded up my bike, drove me home, found my keys, put me on my couch in my house, found my mom's work number, and called her to come home immediately.

Later that night I asked my mom a question that I'm sure any parent would be afraid to answer:

"Mom, I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to protect me and help me arrive to Breanne's safely. Why did I get in an accident?"

My mom sat and thought for a minute (she doesn't remember this, I asked). She then said, well Heavenly Father didn't protect you from the accident but because of Him Brother Anderson, did I mention he's a doctor, drove by right as you fell. She told me that, THAT, was the answer to my prayer.

I'm sure my mom was worried that was not a good enough answer, but it was. Because of that experience, I was able to understand that sometimes prayers are answered in ways that don't make sense right at first. Sometimes He answers them in ways that are better for you and you just don't know it yet. It's another way to show how well our Heavenly Father knows us.

What a blessing it is to have an "unanswered prayer."

Missionary Work

This is my talk I gave in Sacrament meeting yesterday. I know there are some obvious English mistakes but it's late and there is a pile of dishes waiting for me so I'm not fixing them. I hope you get the idea.

The bishop asked Michael and I to talk on missionary work. What a wonderful topic to speak on. I love missionary work and what it does not only for the person performing the work but also for the person that is being taught. Missionary Work is so important.

I once heard a talk given about a missionary. It was a few years ago and I don’t remember it exactly but I remember the importance of the message and would like to share it with you. The missionary that was spoken of was really struggling as a new missionary. I’m sure that most missionaries struggle when they are newly out in the field. He was not as prepared as he thought he would be to wake up early every morning, walk and walk and walk, be rejected over and over again, not watch TV, not listen to his favorite songs on the radio, and to eat every version of Ramen he could possibly think of. As he struggled, though, he prayed. He prayed for strength and understanding of his mission and why it was important for little him to be out in the mission field. Despite his prayers he still struggled. One evening, close to the end of the month, he went out with his last dollars and bought a loaf of bread and six bananas. Those things mixed with the few things he had at home would last him to the end of the month but he knew he would still need to ration so he wouldn’t go hungry. The following day several missionaries met at his apartment during their lunch break. After all the missionaries left, he went into the kitchen and found his loaf of bread almost gone and all of his bananas eaten. He was discouraged more then ever. Why would Heavenly Father let all of these other missionaries eat his food when he needed it so badly? Why was he serving? What difference was he making? After lunch he and his companion set out again. Despite his want to go home he still served next to his companion but thinking that his days as a missionary were soon going to come to an end. As soon as their last appointment ended the woman whom they were teaching got up and went into the kitchen. While the missionaries were preparing to leave the struggling missionary was called into the kitchen. In the woman’s hand was a bag. Keep in mind she knew nothing of the missionary’s struggles. He slowly walked towards her and opened the bag. Inside he found a loaf of bread and six bananas; nothing more and nothing less. This story was told to the missionary’s mission president on the last day of his mission after he served a full two years.

After knowing that, how can we deny the importance of missionary work?

I want to do a short activity. Will everyone just close his or her eyes? In your head picture to you what a missionary looks like. Ok, open them. Now will the Elders in the room please stand. By the raise of hand who pictured someone that looked a lot like these elders standing here? I know I did.

I believe that if we were to ask Heavenly Father to do the same activity He would see you and me. He would see every home teacher, visiting teacher, primary president, young woman’s advisor, and bishop. He would see every member of this church as a missionary.

We have to ask ourselves, what is a missionary? In the book Preach my Gospel, missionaries are defined as, “Representatives of Jesus Christ, who can teach people with power…that ‘redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah,’ and that no one ‘can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah’”. (2 Nephi 2:6,8)

After being baptized you become a representative of this church; a representative of Christ. So even though some of us are not in the right position to leave our homes and serve for either 18 months or 2 years we can still be missionaries.

We have to ask ourselves, though, when and where do we share the gospel? While I was working for Panera Bread I was, I’m afraid to admit, a little timid about sharing the gospel. Since Prop 8 had recently passed and there were several people I worked with that were very much against Prop 8 I was scared of what alienation I would face. Instead I just served as an example and did the best I could. As you could probably guess people did notice that I acted different than most. I never drank coffee (even though I had to be to work by 5:00AM), I didn’t take a smoke break, I was always honest, and outside of work I never dressed immodest. So, people started to ask questions and IT got out. I was a Mormon. I was horrified at first. Here I was a 22 years old woman who had been to the temple several times and I was afraid that my coworkers knew I was a member. What I found out, though, is that people generally don’t care if you are a member or not they just want to know more. With that I had the opportunity to clarify a lot of fuzzy ideas and help people get to know the church in the proper way. Even from it one of my really good friends from work came to church with me one Sunday just because she wanted to see what it was like.

Point of my story: I don’t think that there is a wrong place or wrong time to share the gospel. If you remain close to the spirit, He will guide you to teach to serve whenever or wherever needed.

So how do we do it? In a talk by Elder Don R. Clarke titled “Learning to Share the Gospel” he explains the best way to share as a member missionary. “We may begin by inviting people to our home, a sporting event, a Church activity, or a service project. Small steps to fellowship others will eventually lead to spiritual conversations, invitations to attend Church, and interest in listening to the missionaries. Remember that sharing the gospel is a process, not an event. Our example is critical, but it is not the end. We must have the courage to reach out because people will not usually invite themselves.”

At this point I want to talk a little bit more about example. I know that not any person is this room is perfect. I’m sure, at times, we feel like most people are much more perfect than us but we must not fall into that trap. We all have strengths that we can show and share with others. We also have weaknesses that we can work on. Either way we can stand as an example in the best way we know how.

Now back to how we share:

Dallin H. Oaks once said in a talk called “Sharing the Gospel,” “As with so many other things, sharing the gospel begins with desire. If we are to become more effective instruments in the hands of the Lord in sharing His gospel, we must sincerely desire to do so. I believe we acquire this desire in two steps.

First, we must have a firm testimony of the truth and importance of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. This includes the supreme value of God’s plan for His children, the essential position of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in it, and the role of The Church of Jesus Christ in carrying out that plan in mortality.

Second, we must have a love for God and for all of His children. In modern revelation we are told that “love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify [us] for the work” (D&C 4:5). The early Apostles of this dispensation were told that their love should “abound unto all men” (D&C 112:11).”

Desire: where does that come from? I want you to take a moment to think about what the church does for you. Whether you become a member of this church 52 years ago or yesterday you need to remember why it is you joined. You have to really think about what brings you back every Sunday. I know why I come back every Sunday; the gospel brings me blessings beyond belief.

When Michael and I first moved to California we were living off a GIANT loan we took out before moving, school loans, and Michael’s job. We were living pretty well. Then, Michael started school in January 2008. We had both decided, before moving to California, that Michael would work as little as possible so he could focus on school. With that knowledge Michael quit his job just before Christmas and I had no job at all. We figured that when we got back from our Christmas vacation we would just find jobs then. Holy cow, that was not as easy as it sounded. Michael and I made NO income in the month of January. Yet, somehow, we made it. We paid rent, had food, had enough for gas, and a little teeny tiny extra to go to some cheap fast food place for a “night out.” I have no question in my mind where this blessing came from.

I fast forward three months later. I had found two jobs and Michael found one. We were struggling. After a couple of food orders from the church we realized we just weren’t making it. With me traveling to the City every day and Michael driving to Emeryville we knew we needed to move closer and we prayed for help. Our tax return was just enough to get us moved. Even though Emeryville is expensive but by nothing short of a miracle we were able to find a one-bedroom apartment in walking distance of Michael’s school at a price that was cheaper then what we were paying in Vallejo.

I fast-forward a few years after that. Michael and I were called to serve as a Ma and Pa in the Pioneer Trek last summer. Michel and I were a little nervous to go. Besides that fact that teenagers are scary Michael had just graduated from school and needed to get started on looking for jobs. But our bishop continued to…let’s call it encourage…. us to go. After a long meeting we decided to go. The bishop, Michael, and me ended the meeting in prayer. In this prayer the bishop said, “Please have this trek help Michael find a job.” Michael met his current boss on the trek and it is because of this boss that Michael was able to get the job.

These are three of many, many, many blessings that the gospel have offered us. Why would I not want to share that with others? While you sit and think of the blessings in your life how can you not want to share those blessings with others?

I have one more activity. Think about your life whether it be directly or indirectly have you been affected by missionary work. Whether it be in receiving the blessings of being a missionary or the blessings of being taught by missionaries. Everyone who has been please stand. Missionary work is so important.

I would just like to close with my tesitmoy.

Break

Just to let you know, I took a break this week. The weekend was really exhausting for MIchael and I and I have to write a talk for church on Sunday. See you next week.

Sisters are a Girl's Best Friend

*To my sister out there who may feel a little lonely today and for the next little while. This blog post is for you. Each day will only get better and I PROMISE it's almost over. I love you.

I had an interesting thought the other day: if it wasn't for DNA my older sister and I would probably of never meet.

Even though we went to the same high school we were three years apart and two totally different people. I would have recognized her from the morning school news show but she wouldn't even have known I existed. Now we are two totally different people. We do like some of the same things. We both likes cats, food (crepes especially), eating out, dry humor, and many other things I'm not thinking of right now. But even then, I feel like we both like those things because we have the same parents.

So, here we are, two different people with two different futures, two different goals, and two different lives. The one thing that ties us together is this unconditional love that you somehow get for your sister.

I think the unconditional love has to do with the tears, fears, and laughs we've had together. Between countless hours of being home alone together and my mom forcing us to be friends we somehow gained this relationship that is deep and meaningful.

I think about the sisters in my ward. I call them my sisters but do I really feel the love for them like I do with my "real" sister?

For those that were either visit taught or did your visiting teaching in the month of April read the article about the purpose of Relief Society. There were three key things that were spoken about:

1: Increase in faith and personal righteousness
2: Strengthen family and home
3: Provide relief by serving the Lord and His children

When I first read these three items I wondered to myself how those things affect me and if I'm really getting that out of Relief Society. I now realize, though, that I need to not think so selfishly about that. I need to think, "What am I doing to help other sisters receive these three things in their lives?"

Going back to my own sister I think about how we give each other advice and listen to each other's problems. Even though she is not married she has been there to listen to some silly argument and I have been there to give her advice on how to advance her career and become her own self. We usually talk on the phone for hours and are really sad when the call has to come to an end. I feel like at the end of each and every conversation we have provided those three things for each other and I'm grateful for that.

I need to take these skills I have of bonding with a sister and showing unconditional love and support and apply to those sisters in my ward. That way I don't ever have to feel without a friend. For a sister is a girl's best friend.

The Blessings of a Calling

I think every single member of the church knows this feeling:

You're sitting in the bishop's office entertaining his small talk. He asks you how the ward is, how are the people? So on and so forth. You politely smile and answer but inside you are twisting and turning, dying to know what calling he is going to ask you to be in.

Then, it happens..

He says, "Well, there is something that I wanted to talk to you about."

You say, "Uh-huh." (nervously)

He says, "How would you feel about serving as the (insert most feared calling here)."

I know for me I'm filled with a whole bunch reasons of why I would be inadequate in that calling or why it's just not for me. I also think of why I don't want to do that calling. Whether it be because of time, energy, or because I feel I would be better placed somewhere else.

What I've come to find, though, is that those callings you fear most bring you the most blessings.

I once was woken at 5:00 in the morning filled with ways that I was blessed by all the callings in my life. I would like to share some of those with you.

When I was called as the Relief Society Secretary in my singles ward I was excited but I didn't even really knew what it meant. I didn't know what I would have to do or how much work it would take. From that calling I learned about my amazing organization skills. I learned that I had the ability to approach strangers and get to know them on a personal level without crossing a line. I also learned that a door slammed in your face because a sister is uninterested in what you had to say meant that a card in a mail is a better option. It didn't mean to give up and turn away. Also, since we were pushing our sisters to become closer to the Lord I had to be closer to the Lord.

From that calling I took my organizational skills to primary; where I served as a secretary there. I grew a great love for Primary and for children that I really never had before.

With my organization and my love for children I went to nursery. Here I learned the importance of a lesson. Why it's important to have a schedule for kids and even though they are running around like crazy they may just understand that God gave them a nose to smell. There's always hope, right?

These were all easy callings compared to the one that brought me the most blessings in life: Young Women's Secretary. I had my skills of organization. I had my love for people younger than me. I knew the importance of a lesson and how even if they take away one small aspect of the lesson I did good. I also had the knowledge that even if a door is slammed in your face you never give up but I still was not prepared for this. I had to work on my calling 7 days a week. It was always on my mind and always the most important thing going on. I always talked about and always thought about it. On top of that I was working, going to school, trying to be a wife, and supporting my family. We were so poor and ends were barely meeting. I was exhausted. I look back now and wonder how I even made it through.

From that calling, though, I gained so much knowledge about the gospel. My testimony grew each and every day because I had to share it all the time. Also, I drove those girls everywhere. Our ward boundaries were very large and I had to pick up 3-4 girls every Wednesday night. It was hard. You know what, though, we always had gas. Always. That's not something I ever had to worry about. Also, those girls would ask hard questions. Questions that I never knew the answer to, so I thought. But it showed me that the Lord is always there to guide my words so that those who are in question will always get the right answer. I also learned a great amount of patience that I would have never learned otherwise.

In my current calling I receive blessings each and every day. Blessings that are beyond belief and beyond compare.

How grateful I am for callings. I'm grateful that I'm there to help the ward and help in the building up of the church but I'm also grateful for the blessings. I'm grateful to know that the Lord knows me so well that he knows what I need and how each calling will help me grow and become better. Maybe, just maybe, that's the greatest blessing you can get.

How Well Do You Know Him?

Today I was listening to a very lovely talk on the Easter story in Sacrament. Brother Harris did a wonderful job of capturing the importance of Easter. He very respectively told the whole story of Christ's resurrection and I really enjoyed it. There is one part that really stuck out to me, though. Brother Harris reached the part of the story when Mary Magdalen(sp?) was crying in the garden. She thought she saw the gardener and, while crying, asked him where her master's body was. The gardener simply said, "Mary" and she knew exactly who he was.

It made me realize that the Savior and our Heavenly Father know us so well, they know us by name. Heavenly Father knows my likes, my dislikes, who I love, what I love to do. He knows my favorite movies and songs that play on the radio. He knows that I love to sing and dance. He knows that when I'm home alone I will put on a concert for my biggest fans and dance my heart out to Lady GaGa. Better than that, he knows my heart. He knows when it's broken and how to mend it. He knows just how to make me feel loved and ok. He knew that I could cross over giant hurdles with flying colors and he knew just what to do to help me get over them. He knows me, better than I know me.

It makes me wonder, do I know him? If the Savior or my Heavenly Father called me by name would I know who it was?

I feel like the obvious answer is yes. I like to think that I would recognize my Father in Heaven but would I?

This made me think even further as to what causes me to know my Heavenly Father. There's the "seminary answers:" pray, go to church, pay your tithing, and read your scriptures. Love others, always serve with a smile,..the list goes on. But I have a theory. I think that you can do all of those things and still not know your Father in Heaven. I think it takes praying with your whole heart. Not just repeating the same prayer over and over again but really thinking about what you are thankful for that day. Really concentrate on your faults and shortcomings so you can truly repent. Then turn around and ask for a way to improve. Don't just quickly end; wait. Wait to see if He has guidance for you.

Don't just go to church. Serve at church. Get to know your ward members, love them, help them. Do the best you can in fast offerings so that your ward members can eat, have clothes, and wear shoes.

Pay your tithing in full. Never hesitate and always follow through.

When you read your scriptures really try to find the meaning of what your reading. I've found that when I read my mind wanders. I'm not always concentrating on the page. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes I'm thinking about things in my life that the words pertain to. But most of the time I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do after I get done. I need to work on finding inspiration and lost knowledge in the scriptures. What a great opportunity it is to learn from prophets of the past. It's like reading General Conference from the prophets of old.

I end on serving others for a reason. I once heard a great analogy of service. When you are on an airplane the flight attendant tells you that if the air mask falls down make sure to put on your own before assisting another. I don't want you to be selfish or focus only on yourself but work on serving yourself. Your Heavenly Father loves you just as much as he loves the people around you. He wants you to be loved and healthy too. Make sure that you are taken care of and that you feel good so you can serve others to the fullest. Also, remember, that it's really the small things that count. You don't need money to serve. Sometimes you just need two hands that can fold laundry, vacuum the carpet, or wipe a counter. Sometimes you just need two ears to listen and a mouth to give advice.

Through these things you will come to know your Father in Heaven. I know that to be true. I also know it to be the greatest blessing here on Earth.

Listen to the still small voice

I have one of the greatest mother in laws in the whole world. It's true, ask anyone. She has taught me so much in the five short years I've known her. Today, I have the opportunity to share with you the greatest lesson she has taught yet.

When I was going through one of the hardest times in my life I felt all alone. Sure, I lived with my husband, had friends, had family, had a cat, and my mother in law (MIL) to talk to on a daily basis but I was still really alone. Through this time my MIL kept telling me to talk to my Heavenly Father and to really listen to what he had to say. She is humble enough to know that even though her knowledge is great that Heavenly Father's was even greater. Every time she told me to listen to what my Heavenly Father had to say I would start to feel uncomfortable. I've been told my whole life to listen for the spirit, or the still small voice, and they say that he will guide you and give you comfort in many ways. Up to this point I had felt the spirit, many times. Mostly, though, it was when something was being taught to me and I knew it was true. My whole body would become warm and tears would fill my eyes. I knew that feeling quite well. But I had never heard a direct way to go or felt a comfort that helped me understand where things will be going or that the direction I was headed would bring comfort.

Too embarrassed to tell my MIL that I didn't know how to listen for Heavenly Father's instructions, I realized I was on my own to figure out how to do it. I realize, now, that is truly the best way.

There is a great talk that Michael has on CD. Both of us have listened to it many times and it is one of my favorite talks to listen to. In the talk the gentleman, I can't remember who, talks about an experience he had when listening to the spirit. He was out giving firesides to groups of teens throughout Montana. He was somewhere in Montana supposed to be going to Laurel. He had gotten quite lost and it took him a while to get back on track. Once he was headed in the right direction he decided to stop and get something to eat. He pulled off on an exit that had an advertisement for $3.99 Philly Cheese Steak combos. As he pulled off the exit he saw a sign for a Burger King. He instantly heard the spirit tell him, "$0.99 Whopper special." He said it didn't take him long to decide that a whopper, medium fries, and a medium drink for only $0.99 was a much better deal than a $3.99 Philly Cheese Steak sandwich. So, he headed to Burger King. Would you know, right as he walked in the door he saw a man and his troubled son from his home ward sitting in a booth. Think of how that man must of felt when he saw his stake president walk through that door. The three of them had the opportunity to sit together and talk about the teens troubles and help guide him back on the track to righteousness.

Through this talk I have learned that the spirit speaks to you in ways that you already think. If you continuously bring yourself closer to our Heavenly Father through prayer, scripture study, and by keeping his commandments the spirit will become so much a part of your life it will be just like your own thoughts.

How do I know this to be true?

I once was coming home after dropping Michael off at priesthood session. I took a different way home then normal and ended up driving by a friend's house that I don't normally pass on a day to day basis. This friend has gone through great trials in her life. Trials that I can not understand but I know are heavy on her heart. After passing her house all I could think about was calling her. Over and over I would hear, in my own how I think I sound voice, I should call so and so. I finally pulled over and gave her a call. Guess what, she didn't answer. So I just left her a message letting her know that I was thinking about her and that I love her.

A week or so later this friend approached me in church to let me know that she was having a really bad day the day that I called her. She didn't really want to talk to anyone and that's why she didn't answer her phone. She let me know, though, that my message was just what she needed and that she really appreciated the fact that I was thinking about her.

I know the feelings of the spirit and direction and guidance can be hard to hear or understand. I know, though, that through exercising faith in your Heavenly Father and faith in yourself, you too will learn that listening to the still small voice is as easy as hearing the voice in your head. You will soon learn what is really the spirit and what is the adversary. It's almost as if it's two different voices.

I hope and pray that you listen to your still small voice. It can guide and direct in ways that are unimaginable.